The eyes that express nothing

It hurts when I see you
Distanced or near
Your disdain,the unconscious deception
The false pretence that cuts my heart

The words that we speak
Amounting to a little more than nothing
The depth of your mind
Out of my grasp and understanding

I just want to know why
Are you still thinking of me?
Are you concerned about my feelings?
Or was the chapter closed already?

I am a fool.
Maybe the biggest fool
Move on,they all say
But questions have to be answered first

Thank you
Love became vulgar from that day onwards
The jealousy and disbelief
Do I not deserve Love?

Messages that meant the world
Messages that mean nothing now
Thanks for leading me on
Thanks for breaking my heart

Was it that hard to tell?
But you already suspected
Acceptance was a prohibition
Rejection's door wide open

Maybe someday
We'll laugh about it
If we can overcome this veneer of friendliness
For now I'll weep in silence

My eyes express nothing
The laughter masks the sorrow
My pretence similar to yours
But still I care and love

Hide from the world.
Ignore your friends.
Feel the pain.
The throbbing in your head.
Stare at the mirror.
Look away in disgust.
Climb out of a hole.
Fall back in again.
Lose yourself more and more.
Throw religion out the door.
Is life good?
Screw it all.
Love transcends.
But there's no love.
They understand.
Nothing at all.
I am who I am.
But who the hell am I???

I wanna blog

but I duno what to blog about.